Crying at Work

A recent “Dear Prudence” column in Slate Magazine made me think about this subject. The question presented to Prudie involves a specific situation at work, and Prudie’s answer is specific to the question. It’s a good read. I’m talking more about crying at work in general.

It’s not uncommon for an employer to have a policy that can be read to mean: “No yelling, no screaming, no shouting at work.” So, would a “no crying” policy be ok? There’s nothing illegal about it, but good luck enforcing it. Some might argue that if you can ban yelling, screaming and shouting, you should be able to ban crying. They’re all emotional responses. Maybe so, but most folks have less control over crying than the other emotions.

Tears can be impactful in the workplace. If the CEO is making a serious presentation to the troops and gets a bit teary-eyed, a silence will fall over the crowed that makes what he/she says unforgettable. On the other hand, if the CEO or any other employee is crying hysterically, most folks will look for a hole to crawl in. It’s just as disruptive and unproductive as yelling, screaming and shouting. So, maybe a “no hysterical crying” policy.

The fact is that tears are shed at work every day. Although Prudie would probably disagree with me, tears are more likely to be shed by and are generally found to be more acceptable from women (as long as there’s no hysterical crying). I don’t view tears as a sign of weakness, whether they’re from a woman or a man. They just happen at times. Reasonable (as opposed to hysterical) tears should be respected. Giving the employee time to collect himself or herself is appropriate. There should follow a serious, meaningful discussion about the reason for the upset, hopefully followed by a solution.