Letterman Gets Serious, Offers Defense

After saying last week that he would say no more about sexual romps with young female staffers, David Letterman decided to say more. See New York Times and Los Angeles Times.

On his show this past Monday, Letterman apologized to his wife for his behavior. He disclosed that his wife (The Good Wife?) had been “horribly hurt.” To emphasize his marital plight, he acknowledged, “I’ve got my work cut out for me.”

In his monologue, however, he continued to make jokes. “I got in my car this morning, and even the navigation lady wasn’t speaking to me.” That sounds like genuine remorse, alright.

Letterman then apologized to his staff, thanking them for “putting up with something stupid I’ve gotten myself involved in.” Finally, he offered his defense. He said his serial conduct had been inadvertent because “I just wasn’t thinking ahead.”

It reminded me of a sexual harassment case I handled for an employer several years ago. The EEOC charge filed by a female assistant claimed that while she was standing on a stool arranging some books on a bookshelf in her boss’ office, her boss had approached her from behind and bitten her on the butt. I was understandably eager to interview the boss for his side of the story. When I asked him if he had bitten his assistant on the butt, he responded in the affirmative. When I asked him why, he said, “I just couldn’t help myself.”

I wondered for a few moments if that might be a good defense, considering the nefarious workings of The Man Gene and all. Of course, the case was settled.

I must confess that the boss’ defense still intrigues me. I’ll now add Letterman’s defense to the list of intriguing defenses that would never work.

Note to employers: Don’t allow any of this in your workplaces.