Tears in the Workplace

Crying is one of the most feared responses in the workplace. Human resources professionals might be better at handling an employee’s tears than others, but even they are often caught off guard.

Conventional wisdom says crying is a healthy catharsis. According to the New York Times, psychologists are reexamining this wisdom. There’s still agreement that crying is infectious, more likely to occur among women than men, and sometimes results in immediate relief. 

What’s new is that studies now show crying to be cathartic in retrospect. Memory shuts out crying episodes that brought shame or misery instead of relief. People are inclined to only remember crying that allowed them to feel better after a loss.

These studies also demonstrate that crying in front of one other person is more likely to  produce a cathartic effect than doing so before a group. And there’s little to no catharsis for people who suffer from depression or anxiety.

Given what’s happening in workplaces across the country today, there’s probably more crying than ever. And now we’re told that a good cry may not even benefit an employee who’s just been laid off.

I’m hardly an expert on the psychology of crying, but when delivering bad news, you’ve got to be ready for tears. That’s why the news should be delivered in private with enough time for the employee to get emotional and then settle down. That’s why the news should be delivered in person, not over the phone or via email. Even the new studies say that another person’s presence may help make employees’ crying a cathartic experience.

If effects of crying are studied by psychologists, they should be thoughtfully considered by bosses. Anticipate, rehearse, coach, and think about how you would feel if you were receiving the news you’re about to deliver.